Just a quick thought for the day that I've been mulling over. My father-in-law preached a sermon recently that was about not spending your energy trying to 'be the greatest' or 'make a name for yourself.' He talked about how so much of what we do is to be The Great One...to make sure people see us as funny, pretty, wise, a good mom or homemaker...depending on whatever your particular path to greatness is. The phrase 'making a name for myself' really clicked with me. That's how it feels when I'm not settled in who God created me to be in social situations. I'm intent on making a name for myself.
So on my way to hang out with some friends the other night, I was thinking about that sermon and how I wanted to not spend the whole evening making a name for myself. All of the sudden, a thought HIT ME out of the blue: when I spend the time I'm around people trying to make a name for myself or trying to be The Great One, I think I'm securing community for myself. I think I'll be safe, and loved, and wanted...that I'll have a group of friends who all love me and I'll be happy. But what ACTUALLY happens when I live striving to make a name or be great, is, I'm RUINING community. I'm actually undermining the foundation of what good community is all about.
I undermine community because instead of being genuinely caring about my friends, I'm only caring about myself. I'm following a self-serving agenda, namely that I would be great...and I'll use anyone to get to my greatness. I think my greatness will bring me to a safe place, a secure place, a place where I'll have community surrounding me because everyone will love me (if I'm honest, the goal I'm pushing for looks like even more than wanting everyone to love me...it almost looks like wanting everyone to worship me). But what I'm doing is actually manipulating people to serve me and my agenda of greatness...
So in a sentence, when I go out with my friends, looking to find safety and security and identity by striving to prove my greatness, I'm actually eroding what would end up being a safe and life-giving place for me if I had followed God's ways and instead used my energy to love, to serve, to look to someone else's good.
It reminds me that God doesn't tell me how to live so He can ruin my life, but for my own good.
