Having My Own Story (by Sarah)

My husband & I are reading through the Bible in a year. We're doing it in chronological order, so that means sometimes we're reading from different passages each day instead of simply reading straight through.

We read some of Genesis and then jumped to reading the whole book of Job before we came back to Genesis again. I really got into the story of Job by the end (although I really didn't like the first 30-some chapters). It gets really interesting because God enters into the dialogue. He interacts with Job! It was amazing for to get to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.

Tonight I started reading in Genesis again, the part where God makes some covenant promises to Abram. It struck me, after reading about God's story with Job, and now God's story with Abram, that God really does interact with us as individuals. He has a specific way He's interacting with each of us.

As a mom this really speaks to me...there's SO many opportunities for comparing myself to other moms, to their stories. For example, just spend some time in a room full of women discussing their labor and deliveries. There's always that subtle comparison aspect. The one-up feel. The nonchalant asking of whether you had an epidural or a C-section. Or talk to that same group of women about their newborn parenting philosophy. Did they let their baby 'CIO'? How long does their baby sleep at night? At what age did they achieve the illusive sleeping through the night phenomenon?

Don't get me wrong, I love knowing the details of my friend's lives. It's often even hysterical to compare notes. Talking about women stuff is a blast. However, under the surface, women are also always trying to decide if there's something wrong with them, with their story, with how they did it. They're defending the validity of what they experienced. And that's where this God with Job/God with Abram things speaks to me. God orchestrating each one's life experiences to have a unique God-encounter with each of them. It's totally different how He expounds on the magnificence of His creation to Job and how He promises Abram an heir when he's an old man and makes him wait even longer for the promise to materialize.

The connection for me is that God interacts with ME uniquely. And with each of my mom friends uniquely. So maybe it's not so much about whether or not I had the epidural or if my birth was completely natural or not. Maybe my labor was tailored specifically for me and what God wanted to work in me, what He wanted to lead ME through? What if how my newborn acts is less about how perfect of a parent I am, and more about what God is needing to teach me? If my friend's baby sleeps 12 hours straight at 3 weeks old, and mine wakes up after 45 minutes every stinking time, maybe it's not about whether I'm a good mom or not...but about God and the things He is working into me, ways He's stretching me to learn to hope in Him in a new way. Maybe my friend with the easy labor and the easy baby needs grace from God. Maybe I need to be challenged.

The thing about this Job/Genesis story is that I think I routinely give God less credit than He deserves. I forget He's even in the equation. And I tend to give myself too much credit (either for ruining my life or excelling in life). I think He's way more present than I let myself see.